BEstFicEVeR
by cruiscin lan
Summary: Summary: I'm not real good at summeries, u have to read to find out what thes storie's about! A/N: This story kinda sucks but I posted it anywayz! please R&R! Longer author's note inside! Unbeta'ed!


**Title:** ~*BEstFicEVeR*~

**Fandom:** fanficrants at livejournal

**Characters:** Alice/Bob, surprise pairing at the end!

**Rating:** TV-14

**Disclaimer:** I do not own fanficrants but if I did I'd be rich, right?

**Spoilers/Warnings:** Spoilers for all of fanficrants, to be on the safe side.

**Summary:** I'm not real good at summeries, u have to read to find out what thes storie's about!

**A/N:** This story kinda sucks but I posted it anywayz! please R&R! Longer author's note inside! Unbeta'ed!

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: _Oh my god you guize I'm up like so late right now I don't even know why it was probably because I've been drinking like sooooo much soda lately, IDEK. So then I was like sugar high alllllll night long and I was chatting with my friends online (PS HUGS AND KISSES BECCA ~*~ ^_^~*~ AND ALSO STEPH, EVEN THO' U'RE A BAD KISSER LOLZ) and like that's where the idea for this fic came from. So I'm sorry if it doesn;t make alot of sense lololol it's cuz I was up so late and like I just wanted to post before I fell aSleep._

_NEway all mistakes are mine 'kay?_

***~*~*~NO FLAMES PLZ~*~*~***

It was a glumy weekday mornin, where a cold, heavy fog hang over the land like a thick blanket. Like a quilt. Like a comforter - a down comforter, even, except instead of keeping the whole world warm, it sucked the warmth right from the ground and made it impossible to see more than 2 feet in front of ur face when u went outside.

Alice woke up first when the alarm went off. "Bob, it's time to get up, she said to her hubby. "U've gotta go to work 2day."

Bob groggily rubbed his eyes clear of sleep crustiez. They had beautiful blue orbs of goodness on his face, but after beeing married to Alice the light had gone from his life. He thought she was his one trule love. Instead she was a witch, a harpy, an absolute meanie all the time to him.

"If u don't go to work, we're not going to have any money," Alice said, practically shoving Bob to get him moving. "And I need a mani 2day. If I can't get my mani u know how I can get."

"Yes, dear" Bub sighed back.

Bob hated how he had to work all the time to support Alice. He didn't eve leik her anymore, much less luv her, but at least at work, away from Alice, Bob could indulge in his favorit hobby - fanfic. He loved to read it, he luved to writ it - he'd even beta from time to time. He luved to hang out at livejournal when the boss wasn't looking, so he could read slash and femslash and not het because het sucks but sometimes gen too. He loved to read about all the caracters and talk about them with his friends on the internetz. He couldn't decide who was his favorit Whinchester brother, but it was probably the cute one. He loved debating about whether Harry Potter's tru luv was Draco or Hermione. And he luved, luved luved talking to his beta, who went by the online name shambosham.

so when he got to work that day bob logged into his lj and goes to read his flist.

And there it was - a rant lambasting his latest mastapiece.

THIS SUCKS SO BAD, it said (just like that, in ALL CAPS). IF IT WAS MY STORY I'D LET IT BE ADOPTED BY CIRCUS CLOWNS.

It was way harsh tai.

Bob didn't know what to do. The whole rant was like that, just rippin his storie to shreds. He felt like a looser. He felt like his heart hand been ripped out of his chest and eaten by a monkey, a flyin monkey who flies. He felt like this was the worst feeling in the hole world.

Fortinately he went on IM and saw shambosham was online.

_oh hai buddy did u c_

**the rant about my story? yeah man**

_sorry u had to c that_, shambosham told him. _none of it is tru fyi_

**thanks man** bob replied. **it just reallhurts you know? like it hurts all of my feelings on the inside. like all i want is to be good at something, and every time i just get knocked down**

_i know how it feels_

**thnx man u always make me feel better**

_you always make ME feel better_ shambo typed back.

**lol ur so kawaii**

_no u r, bob-kun!!!!_

After talking to his beta Bob started to feel a little bit better. When he got home Alice was still ather manicure appt. so he went to use the computer just to check his email. by accident he clicked on 'browser history' and then it came up.

it was the rant again. the rant against his own story. ALICE had written the rant.

And all of a sudden it felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest by a monkey all over again. Quickly he jumps back onto his computer, and he writes a feverish email to shambo. "Shambo remember when you said you always whatned to meet me in person?" it says. "I can't take living with her any more. I'm leaving her. She's no good person. Can I come stay with you?"

Shambo emails bob back emmediatley. "Of course, Bob you know I have always loved you and I can't wait to see you. Let's meet at the corner of Main street in an hour. I'll be the one with the awesome hair and skintight pants."

Bob felt relieved when he closed his email, but Alice was right behnd him.

"What do u think u r doin?" she asks meanly

Bob was scarred for a second, but then he remembered what he was doing. and he prepared himself. "I'm leaving you alice," he told her matter of factly. "I can't live like this anymore. I don't love you."

"Is this all because I ranted about your stupid little fanfic?"

"You KNEW it was my story and you ranted about it anywya?" Bob asked, soddenly so angry.

Alice climbd on top of bob like an amazon climbing pyramids in the jungle. her boobs were huge and firm and round, which bob could appreciate even though he was really mad at her. his hot, throbbing love rod couldn't help the feelings that he was having. he entered her mystical woman cave with one pounding thrust. alice bit him feriously, like a wildcat in heat.

And then they totally did it in a NSFW way.

"I'm leaving now," Bob said when they were done.

Alice looked at him, tears in her eyes. "But we jus made love," she said desperately.

"No," Bob said. "That was the end of love."

He threw some of his things in the bag and left without looking back, while Alice lay in bed, holding her head in her hands and cursing herself for not treating bob better.

bob got to the corner of MAin street and stood there nervously for five minutes, clutching his bag to his chest. maybe this wasn't a good idea after all. he had no idea who shambo was, what shambo looked like, whether shambo was even a guy or a girl. but then someone with awesome hair came around the corner, and bob knew it had to be shambo.

all bob could see was a pair of high heeled disco boots and skintight pants. oh, and the best hair that he had ever seen. it was black, but almost kinda blue in the light when the mysterius stranger tossed his head (like a pony! a sparkly, gay pony that was also sort of like a martian.).

but then, a pair of piercing blue orbs gazed into bob's own. it was a gaze of truth and promise, sparkling deep into teh depths of his soul like a moonbeam.

Bob looked at him, with a curious expression bedazzled on his face. "Aren't you... Aren't you Adam Lambert?"

"Yes, Bob, I am," he replied. "But I'm also your beta, and I've loved you since I first laid eyes on your sh*tty grammar." (A/N: Okay I don't think Adam would really talk like that so he's prolly a little bit OOC in this fic. Anyway I don't really care though.) Adam Lambert leaned into Bob, their breath mingled, and their eyes met intensely for a moment before bob, embarrased, looked down at his shoes. He was no where near as glamorous as Adam Lambert. He didn't deserve Adam Lambert as his beta.

"You fixed my grammar for me," Bob said.

"I know," Adam Lambert replied, placing his hand on Bob's chest. "And I could fix so much else for you too." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Bob's, and for one shinging moment, they had the most beautiful kiss in the world.

* * *

OMG too tired to keep writing but thnx for reading! JSYK I have like 50 more chapters partially written but I won't post anymore unless I get at least 20 reviews!


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